HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY!! All praise and glory to God for the wonderful country in which I and my family live. I am so thankful for the freedoms I enjoy.
OK, so I am a few days late. Sorry. I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying. I imagine the reason I am not making much progress with anything is because I have those in the wrong order; I should be praying first (and longest and hardest) and thinking after (or not at all). I am trying to figure out why some things are the way they are and what needs to be done to change them. I am trying to figure out what *I* need to do to get to where I think I need to be. Then again, maybe that is the problem. There I go again trying to "think" when I should be listening to where God wants me to be. I just don't think that "here" is where he wants me to be. Here - spiritually and emotionally. There is not a lot I can do about here-physically right now.
Back to the 4th of July: We spent the 4th as a family, doing some great family things. We saw "Monsters vs. Aliens" at the $1 theater in the afternoon. Nothing beats a family trip to the movies for $15 - and that includes the soda and popcorn!! After the movie we had dinner at Fuddrucker's and were entertained by the balloon guy. We didn't want to go home before the fireworks so we drove across town to the Bass Pro Shop. What a cool place for the boys. It is on Lake Ray Hubbard and that just makes it neater. We ended our day in the grass of the FUMC in Plano, watching the boys run around and watching wonderful fireworks. Everyone had a great day.
I was hoping we would get to church today. I am kind of lost and lonely without a church home. However, Chris and I are having a difficult time deciding on which church to attend or which churches to visit. This really hurts me deeply. I have always wanted a Christian home but how can we raise our children in that way without making church a priority? Part of the problem is that my way of thinking about church and my faith has changed since we were married. I really want a more conservative church where the Bible is preached as fact and where I learn what to do with the information in the Bible. I want a church where *faith* in the words of the Bible are more important than *human intellect* in determining the meaning. I want a church that emphasizes that faith is a *relationship* with Christ. I want a church where worship is exciting and brings me into the presence of God. I want a church with a realtional children's ministry, where the boys are in small group settings. I want the boys to learn scripture, share their feelings and grow in their faith with a group of students and adults that share this same goal. Most of all, I want a church that uses the Bible as their guide, that does not try to change or water down the Bible, and knows that God's word is the same yesterday, today and forever. Guess I want a lot, huh? I know I will have to compromise. I will, as long as my boys are getting what they need from the church.
On to other things...
The boys have all decided what they want to be when they grow up. They haven't changed their minds about these things, either. Most kids go throw a stage where they want to be something different every week - not my guys. Zachary wants to be a webmaster or "computer guy like Daddy." Ryan wants to be a paleontologist and discover a new dinosaur. Joshua wants to be an "airplane driver." Not a pilot, mind you, an airplane driver. I want them to be happy in their choices and do their very best at what ever they decide.
I have some more praying and thinking to do and this time I plan to do it in the right order. I know my job right now is to be mom to my boys and wife to my husband. The only person I can change is myself and I feel I have some changing I need to do for the benefit of my family. I believe that there are things I need to change in the life of my family, as well. We are not living as a family grounded in faith and centered on Christ and that HAS TO CHANGE. I WANT and NEED for this to change. All the things on earth shall pass away - only God will remain. How can our family neglect the most important thing? Our eternity.
Off to pray and think...
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